September 25, 2008

Fun things pokar

Well, I am still hovering at 50NL. Played very little due to some personal problems [adventures] in love/family front. We almost broke up with my girlfriend, but now it's fine again. I guess. I do not know.

Anyhoo, that's the "progress", if we can call it. Just bumped in to throw in the link to one funny thread in 2+2 - "How to be a fish in a casino". Here's some good pointers:

-When you get your holecards and it's your turn to act say "Hit Me!"
-Assuming you're playing NLHE, ask if aces can be used for High or Low
-If in a cash game, ask how rebuys you're allowed to have
-Wear a Moneymaker t-shirt
-Keep drawing attention to the table's "chipleader" if in a cash game
-Ask the dealer permission to use the bathroom
-Ask where the hole card camera is
-Keep trying to post the BB in any positoin
-After you get 1 hole card immediately fold
-On the river ask if you can buy a 6th card
-When counting out chips always do it in stacks of 1 chip
-Use a bowling ball for a card protector
-In a cash game, ask when the blinds are going up
-Keep looking around and asking where Mike and Vince are
-Always ask whats the most you can raise
-Raise all bets by $1
-Whenever you get a suicide king or one-eyed jack play it like it's wild
-Ask if you can phone a friend
-When it's your turn to act roll two dice across the table
-Show everyone your chip trick, which is just throwing a chip as high as possible
-Stack your chips like a castle with an entrance for your holecards
-fold your cards with your forehead

Also, sent to Photoshop Disasters pic from Pokerstars newsletter - that guy in the middle [do not know him and don't want to] is clearly photoshopped into some kind of lizardman. Fun.

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